By Sri Lanka’s Latest Political Soap Opera: The Amari Hotel Conspiracy
In what sounds like the script of a low-budget political thriller, former Prime Presdient Ranil Wickremesinghe and former President Maithripala Sirisena allegedly held a top-secret strategy meeting at the luxurious Amari Hotel. The goal? To pull off the ultimate takedown of President Anura Kumara Dissanayake’s National People’s Power (NPP) government. Because, apparently, some politicians just don’t know when to quit.
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The Mysterious Meeting: Who Was at the Table?
Sources close to the waiter who served the bottomless coffee report that this VIP gathering featured an elite group of political plotters, including Anura Piyadarshanayappa, Susil Premajayantha, Mahinda Amaraweera, Nimal Siripala de Silva, Udaya Gammanpila, Nimal Lansa, Rajitha Senaratne, And Ruwan Vijayawardhana, and, of course, Ranil’s ever-loyal sidekick, Sagala Ratnayaka.
The official agenda remains a mystery, but leaked whispers from “reliable” grapevine sources suggest that the entire operation revolves around a grand four-step strategy to destabilize the NPP government.
. The Grand Plan: Divide and Conquer
The leaked strategy—which sounds like a recycled plot from past political failures—includes the following steps:
Find the Weak Link – Identify NPP MPs who might be persuaded to switch sides, complain publicly, or conveniently “lose faith” in the leadership. The goal is to create an illusion of internal discord within the government.
Manufacture a Crisis – Orchestrate strikes, protests, and worker unrest (especially in critical sectors like education and ports) to weaken public trust in the government. After all, nothing says “political chaos” like a well-timed teachers’ strike.
Micro-Protests to Mega-Protests – The plan allegedly involves starting small with scattered protests and gradually building up to a full-blown national uprising.
Diplomatic Whispers – Engage with foreign diplomats in Colombo, spreading subtle “concerns” about the NPP’s stability. A little international pressure can go a long way in shaping narratives.
Ranil’s Masterstroke: The Desperate Comeback Plan
Of course, no political thriller is complete without an unexpected twist, and this time it’s Ranil’s plan to stage a dramatic return to Parliament. His grand scheme? Remove UNP MP Ravi Karunanayake and take his seat.
Unfortunately for Ranil, Ravi Karunanayake didn’t get the memo. As soon as word leaked about his potential political eviction, a group of furious Ravi supporters stormed UNP headquarters in Sirikotha, blocking the entrance and chanting slogans like “Ravi for PM!” and “Ranil: The Expired Leader!”
Eyewitnesses claim that a visibly distressed Ranil was last seen slipping out the backdoor, muttering something about “political ingratitude.”
Sirisena’s Unexpected Return: The Comeback No One Asked For
Adding even more spice to this already messy plot, former President Maithripala Sirisena—who once spent years attacking Ranil—has now suddenly become his co-conspirator. Apparently, he sees this hotel huddle as his last chance to be politically relevant.
During the Amari Hotel strategy session, Sirisena reportedly pitched his “signature move”—breaking up political parties from within, a trick he successfully pulled off in 2015 against the Rajapaksas. However, this time, there’s a big problem: the NPP isn’t as easy to divide, since it operates with strong internal discipline and a united ideological front.
Mahinda’s No-Show: Tactical Absence or Netflix & Cricket?
A surprising no-show at this elite political conspiracy club was none other than Mahinda Rajapaksa. Some believe he is taking a step back to watch the drama unfold from the sidelines. Others suggest that after decades of overthrowing governments, Mahinda is just too tired and is now more interested in cricket and Netflix.
Will This Plan Work?
The million-dollar question remains—can this unlikely coalition of political retirees and comeback hopefuls actually succeed in their mission to destabilize the NPP?
If history is any indicator, the answer is a solid maybe. Given their previous failures, the public’s distrust of career politicians, and the sheer unpredictability of Sri Lankan politics, this grand scheme might just collapse under its own weight.
For now, the people of Sri Lanka can only sit back, grab their popcorn, and enjoy yet another chaotic, unpredictable, and wildly entertaining episode of the nation’s never-ending political drama.
